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Articles & Insights

How to Respond with Kindness in Times of Darkness

January 23, 2017 by YWCA Detroit

How to Respond with Kindness in Times of Darkness

2017 is here, and we can now look back on the past year with appreciation and gratitude. 2016 was a great year, but of course there were some difficult times—times of hardship, times of grief and times of tragedy.

When bad things happen, how do we act individually, and how can we come together as a society? How can we be kind in times of darkness? Today we’re going to talk about just that, and how we can continue to live altruistically when facing heart-wrenching times.

1. Practice empathy.
The number one thing to remember when responding to times of darkness is empathy. Empathy can be difficult when those affected by hardship are far away, look different than us or even have entirely different cultures than us.

But empathy—and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes—crosses all boundaries, unites us and helps us to remember that no matter what happens, none of us have to go through it alone. Notice that we say empathy, and not sympathy. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you,” while empathy says, “Help me understand what is happening to you.” Practicing empathy in times of tragedy not only helps those suffering, but helps you grow as well.

2. Listen to others.
How can we be empathetic to the plight of others? By listening. Listening is different from hearing. We oftentimes hear what other people say, but don’t actually register what they’re thinking, what they mean or what they want to happen.

We can respond to times of darkness by listening to those involved, even if it means listening to people we may not always agree with. Listening acknowledges someone’s feelings as valid, and invites them into a conversation, creating a more altruistic dialogue, rather than an argument.

3. Give gratitude.
When we see terrible things happening in the world around us, it is important to remember to be grateful for the wonderful things we do have in the world and in our individual lives. A little gratitude goes a long way in living an altruistic lifestyle.

Gratefulness shows that you recognize negative situations around you, and you choose to find joy in the positives instead. When we practice gratitude, we have a kinder outlook on life overall and create a more altruistic lifestyle.

4. See how to help.
If you feel inclined and it’s possible, see how you can help in difficult situations. If there’s been a specific tragic event, see if there’s anything you can do to support the victims’ families. If there’s a situation that’s been going on for a long time, see about donating to a charitable organization, or volunteering your time to make a difference. No matter what it is, any impact you can make in the lives of those suffering creates a more loving world overall.

5. Remember perspective.
Finally, remember that for every time of darkness there is also a time of light. When tragedy strikes, embrace kindness by keeping perspective. This is not the end; this is not the worst thing ever; there is still a future. Don’t dismiss difficult times, but embrace the potential for good after the period has passed.

2016 did have times of grief, and no doubt 2017 will as well. But if we remember to stand for kindness, both individually and as a society, we can continue to live a more altruistic lifestyle, and to support those who need our help.

Filed Under: Articles & Insights

5 Ways to Overcome Self-Defeating Thoughts

January 9, 2017 by YWCA Detroit

5 Ways to Overcome Self-Defeating Thoughts

We’ve all been there. In those moments late at night or early in the day, when we’re standing in a crowd or completely alone, when those little thoughts creep in and settle themselves in the deepest corners of our minds.

You’re not good enough. They’re better than you. You don’t deserve anything.

Self-defeating thoughts can come when we least expect them and tear down our self-esteem and break our spirits. So how can we stand up to them and choose joy instead? Well, today we’re going to talk about just that, with five ways to overcome self-defeating thoughts.

1. Test your reality.
The first step in overcoming negative thoughts is to recognize that they are first and foremost in your head, and are not real. When you start to experience self-defeating thoughts, take time to question why you feel this way, what is making you think this and how it is not accurate.

Some questions to consider are: What is my evidence for this thought? Is it my interpretation, or factual? Would anyone else say this about me? When you challenge your negative thoughts, your brain will start to come back to reality, and recognize the overt inaccuracies.

2. Put it in perspective.
Sometimes when we experience self-defeating thoughts, our emotions overcome us and blow situations incredibly out of proportion. When issues like this occur, the best way to calm down and embrace positivity is to put everything in perspective.

Questions to ask yourself when this happens are those such as: Is the situation really as bad as it seems? What’s the worst possible outcome, and how likely is it? How much will this matter in one year, five years, ten years? Putting situations into perspective will not only help to calm your nerves, but will also help eliminate those pestering negative thoughts in your head.

3. Create a happy place.
If self-defeating thoughts are something you continually struggle with, try setting up a happy place for you go to when you feel overwhelmed. For instance, ask friends, families and loved ones to write notes or letters about how much they love you. Save them all up, and when you feel negativity seeping in, break out your happy place and soak up the love.

Include things that actually make you happy in your space. If you’re a visual person, put together a poster of pictures with your loved ones. Create a playlist with your favorite music to listen to. Whatever brings you joy, compile it and save it for a rainy day.

4. Establish a support system.
Like we said, everyone experiences self-defeating thoughts at some point. If you find yourself struggling more often than not, bring together some trustworthy friends and family as a support system for when you’re feeling down. Compile phone numbers, email addresses and information of those willing to talk to you when you need it.

Then, whenever you feel doubtful thoughts seeping in, use your support system to fall back on. We’re all here to support each other. After all, what are friends and family for?

5. Change your language.
Finally, and most importantly, overcome your self-defeating thoughts by changing your language. Whenever a negative thought comes, change your thought process into something positive you can feel good about.

For example, I suck at math, may be changed to But I’m an excellent writer. Or I’m not good enough, could be But these people love me and think I am good enough.

When it comes to self-defeating thoughts, there’s no sure-fire way to beat them. However, there are a number of steps you can put in place to overcome them as best as possible. The most important thing is to lean on those around you for support, and focus on coming through the other side with a more positive outlook on life.

Filed Under: Articles & Insights

How to Start a Positive New Year

January 2, 2017 by YWCA Detroit

How to Start a Positive New Year

Happy New Year! It’s out with the old and in with the new, and we’re ready to say hello to a bright beginning in 2017. The New Year is a great opportunity to forget the past and reset for the future, but sometimes that’s easier said than done.

Positivity is key to creating an altruistic lifestyle in the New Year. If you want to start 2017 off on a high note, check out these tips for living a positive life this year.

1. Live a healthy lifestyle.
The first step towards a positive life in 2017 is feeling good physically. When you get a full night’s rest, eat nutritious food and drink plenty of water, your body will feel more alert, upbeat and all-around naturally better.

Making healthier choices will also make you more adept at living an overall altruistic lifestyle. And while healthy living doesn’t necessarily include losing weight, it may just help you get closer to that New Year’s resolution you set.

2. Be consistently thankful.
It’s been said before and it’ll be said again: gratitude is good for you. With the busy hubbub around the turn of the year, it’s easy to forget about the great things we have and be envious of the things we want. This mindset already sets us up for negative experience.

You can have a positive start to 2017 by being grateful for the people and things present in your life now. Try waking up each morning and acknowledging something in your life that you are thankful for. By cultivating an attitude of gratitude, you establish an affirmative mindset for now and the coming months of 2017.

3. Let go of expectations.
This might be the most challenging part of positive living. With every New Year, we have a set of expectations we hope for, and when things don’t come true, we feel disappointment or vigrx plus official website even resentment. Letting go of expectations we hold and accepting things for what they are allows us to embrace the New Year for whatever may come with it: good, bad and everything in between.

Relaxing our expectations may mean stepping back from social media, meditating or starting a journal. Whatever it means for you, embracing the New Year entirely for what it is will make it a better experience overall.

4. Give back to others.
One of the best ways to start a positive year is to help others have a positive year too. For some, the New Year may bring negative memories, difficult challenges or reminders of turmoil in their lives. You can be a force for good by giving back through donating or volunteering with local nonprofit organizations in your community.

When you help others live a more affirmative life, you subconsciously create a happier experience for yourself, starting 2017 off as a brighter year for everybody.

5. Maintain a positive attitude.
Finally, the best way to have a positive life this year is to maintain a positive attitude. It can be difficult to stay optimistic when things aren’t working out the way you hoped, but attitude is everything. Continue to use uplifting affirmations, outlets and sources whenever you feel challenged, and your attitude will blossom in an optimistic mindset.

This year, let 2017 have a positive impact on your life by following these simple steps. Embrace the New Year as a new opportunity, and continue to live a more altruistic lifestyle for now and years to come.

Filed Under: Articles & Insights

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